rarestandfairest:

Well you’re in public school now bish

madness-and-gods:

sickslickman:

There’s not even 19 billion people on the planet.
Meaning 12 billion people came back from the dead to like that post.
That’s the kind of power Stephen King has.

Reblogging again for the comment

madness-and-gods:

sickslickman:

There’s not even 19 billion people on the planet.

Meaning 12 billion people came back from the dead to like that post.

That’s the kind of power Stephen King has.

Reblogging again for the comment

classy-kate:

i-wanna-be-stereotyped:

I wish my friends would take random pictures of me when we hang out because I’m an arrogant prick and I want more pictures of myself that aren’t selfies.

Someone finally said it

dutchster:

odolnost:

if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the boyfriend would probably be pissed but the dog would be happy to see you also known as reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends

legalize dog marriage

cravings:

do the illuminati call themselves illuminaughty when they’re horny

awkwardvagina:

if i was famous id probably just ask my fans to buy me food when im hungry 

alamatomb:

Did you know that you can drink lava? But only once

panerasexual:

the most important message ive ever received

panerasexual:

the most important message ive ever received

4206666969:

officertoast:

officertoast:

what tools would i need to put 100 oreos in my asshole

image

hitler just told u that u need a bible

staff:

envoya:

this must be what tumblr looks like irl

this is exactly what tumblr looks like irl

staff:

envoya:

this must be what tumblr looks like irl

this is exactly what tumblr looks like irl

wittyandcharming:

muchadoabouttruffles:

Okay, just hear me out for a second.

Muggleborn kid with a talent for magic. Not real magic. Like, sleight of hand magic. And then a prefect catches them doing something like making a ball appear to vanish or whatever, and just loses their shit because this 11 year old kid has utterly mastered Vanishing Spells and what the hell how is that even possible.

smilelikelightning:

yourscientistfriend:

textiles:

I may have taught this spider to knit. I was finishing the last 20 rows at the park, when this little spider wandered over to me, It climbed up my knitting bag, and walked all up and down the piece, then climbed onto my hand and watched me for a couple rows. After the second row it started waving it’s front four legs as if to get my attention. Once I was looking at it, it started pulling silk from its spinneret, and fiddling with it. I don’t know if it was knitting or purling as it was quite small scale, but every few seconds it would stop and look up at me to see if I was still watching. After a little bit I moved it to one of the vines overhanging the archway I was sitting in, and it went about its business.This wasn’t the only unusual thing that happened at the park today, but it was the most unusual.

Maybe it thought you were a spider

I’m gonna level with you that’s the fucking cutest shit I have ever fucking heard of okay I want a little spider that knits not sits menacingly above my bed at night threatening to fall into my mouth.

smilelikelightning:

yourscientistfriend:

textiles:

I may have taught this spider to knit. 
I was finishing the last 20 rows at the park, when this little spider wandered over to me, It climbed up my knitting bag, and walked all up and down the piece, then climbed onto my hand and watched me for a couple rows. 
After the second row it started waving it’s front four legs as if to get my attention. Once I was looking at it, it started pulling silk from its spinneret, and fiddling with it. I don’t know if it was knitting or purling as it was quite small scale, but every few seconds it would stop and look up at me to see if I was still watching. After a little bit I moved it to one of the vines overhanging the archway I was sitting in, and it went about its business.
This wasn’t the only unusual thing that happened at the park today, but it was the most unusual.

Maybe it thought you were a spider

I’m gonna level with you that’s the fucking cutest shit I have ever fucking heard of okay I want a little spider that knits not sits menacingly above my bed at night threatening to fall into my mouth.

gayturians:

lyraffect:

gayturians:

once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory

You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone

go big or go home